


I Still Get Jealous

by DetectiveDawson (msrogersstark)



Category: Chicago PD (TV)
Genre: Jealously, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-15
Updated: 2015-10-15
Packaged: 2018-04-26 11:29:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5003068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/msrogersstark/pseuds/DetectiveDawson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hank likes Erin better, and Antonio is definitely not jealous.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Still Get Jealous

**Author's Note:**

> Not really sure how I feel about this pairing... But hopefully I'll get more Jantonio inspiration soon!

Antonio has lost his cool before. He knows he gets angry easily, he's protective, especially of his team, his family and sometimes things get a little bit out of hand. But it's never felt like this before. Losing his cool at criminals feels like boiling hot rage seeping through every pore in his body. But this, it's different. It stings behind his eyes and pulls at his heart. It prickles beneath his skin. He's not mad, he's hurt. Jealous.

Voight isn't affectionate. He doesn't go past a tap on the back, bro hugs and pats on shoulders. Except when it comes to Erin. Anytime she's upset, he's there with a hug and kind words and it makes Antonio so... jealous that it hurts. Antonio hasn't exactly mentioned this to Voight, and he manages to keep it down. That's until Jay.

Jay has never been anything but perceptive, a trait that Antonio and the rest of the team admires. And Jay's known Antonio for enough time that he can read even the most subtle of emotional change on Antonio's face. Which sucks, because Antonio has gotten really good at hiding things.

"Trouble in Voight paradise?" Jay teases as they drive towards their latest stakeout mission, Antonio riding with Jay because Voight wanted to have a talk with Erin.

Antonio does his best to brush it off and keep driving but he'a irked by the fact that his partner won't even ride with him.

"Come on, man," Jay presses, "you know you can talk to me."

Antonio sighs loudly. "Fine. It's Lindsay."

"Jealous?" Jay smirks and holds onto the door as Antonio jerks the steering wheel hard to the right in payback. "Okay okay sorry."

"I'm not jealous,"

"Okay so you aren't jealous that your boyfriend spends more time with his adopted daughter than with you."

Antonio looks at him. "He's not my boyfriend."

"Oh come on, he so is. I see the way you look at him."

"The way I look at him has nothing to do with "boyfriends" it's the way he looks at me, which he doesn't. He looks at Erin."

Jay sighs and looks Antonio square in the eyes. "Erin's his daughter okay? He's not screwing her, if you want more contact then tell him."

That's what Antonio intends to do, except the case runs long and by the time he's back at Voight's place, he's lost all courage to say anything. Voight had stayed back to finish up some paperwork on the case, sending Antonio ahead of him with a pat on the back. Erin had hung around and Antonio almost went back to his seldom used house to avoid Voight. But they hadn't been spending nearly enough time together and Antonio desperately wanted to just be in Voight's presence for the moment. He gets up and grabs a beer for himself, turning on the Hawks game and starts to plan out their evening in his head. Then Erin walks in the door, Voight right behind her.

"Um hi?" Antonio says gruffly, coming to the door.

"Erin needs a place to crash so I said she could stay the night here," Voight tells him, pulling off his leather jacket and draping it over the chair at the entryway.

"What about your house?" Antonio asks, because Erin is a grown woman who could survive without Voight's constant supervision.

"My mom's at my place and we aren't talking," Erin says, matter of factly, heading to the kitchen. "Anyone want a drink?"

"I'm good," Antonio stands up from the couch and doesn't meet Voight's eyes. "I'm gonna head to bed."

"Are you sure? It's early." Voight says, taking a step towards Antonio. "The game isn't even over."

"Oh, I'm sure. Have fun you two." He rolls his eyes and heads to the bedroom.

The footsteps behind him surprise him and he turns to see that Voight has followed him down the hallway. He pushes Antonio into the bedroom and shuts the door. "Alright, spill it."

Antonio looks him dead in the eyes and says coldly, "I'm not just one of your criminals, you can't just shove me around and command me to do things."

Voight's eyes soften. "Antonio, talk to me. I want to know what's wrong."

"I'm not Erin. That's what's wrong." Antonio turns his head away from Voight's and curses himself internally. He's usually okay with this, he keeps himself together. What he and Hank have is different and there's no label and that's okay. Except it's not because Antonio's hooked and he can't stop wanting Hank to love him.

 "What are you talking about?" Voight asks, leaning against the door.

"You and Erin, there's this bond, Hank. You care about her and you want her to be happy and safe. Which is great. You should." Antonio sits down on the bed and sighs. "But you hold her like you never want to let go, you listen to her problems and you try to make her happy. And I'm just someone on the side that you occasionally make time in your life to see."

"That's not true."

"Then how come you're standing so far away from me?" Antonio asks. "If you don't want anything serious, Hank, then let me know. Because I'm on the verge of too deep in this relationship and I need to get out before I get hurt."

Hank opens his mouth to respond but Antonio's in the groove now and he can't stop.

"You've been avoiding me and we never see each other and I'm sorry because I know that this wasn't supposed to be anything, it was supposed to be about getting over Laura. But I can't pretend anymore that I don't want what I used to have with Laura. Except I want it with you." Antonio stands up slowly and starts walking to the door. But Voight doesn't move, he just opens his arms to Antonio who goes, as if dragged by invisible cords towards him.

"Erin isn't you, Antonio. There's a reason for that. She's like a daughter to me and I'd never had someone I loved until then. Until she came to me for help. I'd never known what that was like, to mean something real to someone. I've never come home to someone who is happy to just be around me, to just be there with me, not need anything from me. Until you."

Antonio steps out of the hug and looks at Voight.

"I never craved contact, craved seeing someone so much that it drove me crazy." He continues "And so I put some distance between us and I'm sorry. I thought I could stop needing you like I stopped needing people. But I can't. "

Antonio looks at him and sighs. "How do I know you won't just walk away, like everyone walked away from you?"

Hank doesn't say anything for a while, just fixes Antonio with a soft look. There's a reason Voight is part of the interrogation team, he can convince anyone he's right and Antonio's had those powers turned on him before. But this time, it feels different. This time it feels like Voight doesn't have the words to say what he means and Antonio knows how that feels.

"Hank?" Erin's voice calls from down the hall, "I think I'll just go crash with Jay for the night."

Voight looks between Antonio and the hallway and Angonio starts to worry that this was all for nothing and Hank is just gonna turn to Erin and ask her to stay.

"See you tomorrow!" Voight calls and then he's pressing Antonio up against the bedroom door.

 "This conversation isn't over," Antonio breathes.

"Are you sure you'd rather talk?" Hank smirks, trailing one hand down Antonio's chest and pressing their hips together. "Because I can stop anytime."

"After, after we'll talk." Antonio gasps out before Voight leans in close and takes his breath away.

 

"I'm not walking away from this, Antonio." Hank says quietly in the darkness. "I tried taking a break and it just made me want you more."

"I think you showed me how much you want me," Antonio smirks and presses in close to Voight.

"Antonio," Hank pokes him in the side. "I mean it."

"Yeah yeah, I know."

The next day, they get to the office at the same time. Half the team is already there and it doesn't go unnoticed to Antonio when Voight presses a little closer, gets a little more intimate than before, even presses his lips gently to Antonio's temple before they head into the office. Baby steps, Antonio thinks and then follows his boyfriend back to the bullpen.

**Author's Note:**

> Thoughts?


End file.
